Close shaves = nicks and cuts

I really thought there wasn't any school today. So I woke up at maybe around 7:30 or 8 and get a text from Angela asking me if I'm on the train. No... wait a second, why is she going to school? I get up to check online if I have any timeslots for lab and what do you know, I do. At 9. So I quickly get dressed and drive to school with my mom. It wasn't really a pleasant drive. The bright sunlight glaring off the wet roads almost blinded me. Then in my distraction at the roundabout, I forgot to look/yield and almost caused an accident had my mom not been so quick to scream 'Stop!'. So I arrive safely at school one step closer to being deaf and blind and I only had one participant today who was 11 minutes late, so technically I wouldn't have gotten in too much trouble if I didn't come. But I'm very glad I did. Lab is a very relaxing place to use the internet.
I can't figure out how to access a page in google analytics. Which bothers me because my stalker tendencies are quite strong this morning.
I'm going to go try to figure it out now. I'll write something more meaningful about my weekend later but for now you'll just have to deal with this self indulgent drivel. Thanks.

I saw this book in the bookstore on the first day of school. I loved the images.

par example:

"I am a person"

Let's give it a try...

Yay, I'm happy Diana has been updating her blog more often. There's always something interesting to read.

If you want to get the code for linking photos on your site, go here.

messy

Taking some initiative

MUM
Where I learned how to link without the help of others
pat me on the back.

Books I need to order (eventually):
-Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami
-The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
-The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

This long day will be my demise

I don't want to be at school right now.
I want to be home, painting. I was staring at it this morning, and I suddenly got a new idea of what I want it to look like, which is totally different from the idea I first started out with. I am so antsy to start working on it... I'm making little doodles of it in my journal and it's only making the wait harder. I'm thinking clown school dropout/outcast.
Also, I want to get home and think about what sort of painting I should make for the oval frame I got. Maybe I'll go egotistical and do a portrait of myself the way Emily Martin always does (haha). Either idealized like hers or... not. I always lean towards idealized though... and most people do. I wish I wouldn't.

I swear I'm going crazy. Yesterday, I was positive I brought my sunglasses to school with me, but I didn't. When I got home, there they were on the kitchen table. The day before, I was sure I had my little pouch of important stuff with me, but I got home to find it on the bed. And today, I swear I remember putting a roll of toilet paper in my bag (for my nose) but it's not there! What's going on?!

Some thoughts in my head while I'm walking from one place to another...

I was drinking pomegranate white tea while walking to psychology A when it occurred to me that pomegranates are symbolic of Asian cultures, and the White part ~ duh! It's a good general description of my racial experience that I'm drinking down. Maybe that's why I like it so much since it doesn't have much of a taste.
I had another thought in my head, but I forgot it in the time it took me to go to the bathroom... Ah! Pads and the colors of their wrappings. Why are they always pastel? I recently bought a small package from school with pale yellow wrappers. I love yellow so it was a nice change from the pale green ones from Costco or the baby blues and (yuck) pinks. It got me thinking, what messages are sent when the wrappings are always light & pastel? Perhaps the same reason why underwear is always made from a soft material - the parts those will be touching are sensitive and require gentleness (always?). That makes sense; who wants denim or woolen underwear? Not I. But the wrapping isn't going to be touching you down there. Why not give it some flamboyant colors or rockin' patterns like Kleenex with their tissue boxes? True, a pattern design might make it more expensive due to more colors being used, copyright + printing costs, but the colors don't have to be so light and delicate. You'd never see pad wrappings in black or deep red.

I wonder what pyschological implications colors have on the experience of menstruation... more on this later, gotta count out condoms for the incoming participants.

In my search for an image, I discovered that there is a museum devoted to women's health and menstruation! http://www.mum.org/ The site also analyzes the messages behind packaging images. Here's an example - http://www.mum.org/camelred.htm

What do you know, I'm not the only weirdo to be thinking about this.

There's a bloody(haha) museum for everything! Reminds me of the one that showcased models of various mammals' penises.

A few of my favorite things

Some things make my stay on campus that much more comfortable.

• Tea with honey
• Chocolatey cookies
• facebook
• scarf around my neck
• Good books
• my journal (It's like having a little bedroom that my mind can enter and leave as it pleases)
  

And I will someday, get one of his shirts. (timberps.etsy.com)

*update: Keith and I might both be getting this shirt (I know I will for sure). I'm so excited to be a fake twin.

I need chapstick

Hey chickys.
I finally, finally got my needle threaded! I brought along some sewing work with me to school like I planned yesterday. I had really wanted to be a prepared girl and get everything packed last night so I wouldn't feel rushed this morning, but lo and behold that didn't happen. I fell into the usual routine of doing the dishes, eating dinner (seems backwards doesn't it?), chatting online with the boy, and falling asleep with soft cotton fabric pressed to my face. So in my rush this morning, I just grabbed the first small needle I could find and dumped it into a plastic ziploc along with: black thread to match the black felt I'll be sewing, fabric scissors, and the cheery red pouch innards. It all went in my tote and off I ran! It felt like I got a late start and I was really worried I'd miss the train... I was a-peddalin' and a-speedwalkin' like mad. Well I didn't miss the train. It was in fact, 12 minutes late. I saw my friend Teri for the first time this semester! He promptly wore out his welcome by rambling on and on like marbles were rolling out of his mouth. Something about vampires and addictive blood and heart problems and Empire blue cross blue shield. I like him but he sure can tire my ears out. So anyway, I was in lab trying to thread my needle, only to discover the thread's a tad too thick to go through the eye. But with good ol' perseverance and a bit of saliva, it finally went in! Sew now I am ready to so. (Nice dyslexic touch, non?)

I'm thinking about taking down some of the posters in my room. They're visually appealing, but I don't listen to the bands anymore. I want to leave that adolescent look behind. I'll probably take down the huge Anberlin poster, though their faces are so cute. I might leave one copeland poster up (or both- they're tiny). Goodbye 'Hello, good friend'. (oh how clever of me!) Goodbye to the Relient K poster that I've had up since 10th or 11th grade...I must figure out a way to use them though because I would hate to just throw them out or leave them in the back of my closet.

TODAY IS TUESDAY!!!

Keep thinking it's monday since I didn't go to school yesterday. Funny how one difference throws my whole mindset off. My brain settles into a routine and just wants to stay there.
Yesterday was very weekend-like though.

Tomorrow (Wednsday!) I'll be at school *all* day. I'll be getting there at 8, and not leaving till almost 9. There's really no way around it... lab ends at 1, but I have to meet Lisa at 4 for 10 minutes, then I have the class at 6:30. Gahhh!!! I must try to make it as pleasant as possible. Hey maybe I could bring something to sew/embroider! A book of course just for light reading... and I don't know what else.

My heart is heavy. I feel like a marsh wiggle.

My road test went kaplut.
I didn't fail. But I didn't pass either. I didn't get to take the damned thing.
Apparently the insurance papers in the car had expired in January.
Which is funny because the same woman who checked those papers a month ago for my first test had no problem with it then. We waited in line for so long only to be told brusquely and uncaringly that I couldn't take the test. It felt unreal and totally unexpected. So we drove home.

I told my dad to call the insurance company and have them fax over a recent form. They faxed it. We drove back. Waited in line again. Two cars pulled up behind me so I thought it'd be okay. It wasn't. The same woman walked over, looked in from behind her dark shades and said in a cold, bordering on sadistic tone of voice (that could just be my imagination), "I told you you can't come back today." (oh. you did?!) And then she promptly walked to the next car. So we drove home. I made another appointment, for October 14th, 8:30 am. And that was my day from 6:30 am until 12:00.

Another month.

Oh me oh my...

So my 2nd road test is in 3 days. This one will be another monday at 8:30am.
I really don't know what I am going to do if I don't pass.
My downfall last time was getting too nervous.


If I don't pass, how will that affect my relationship with Keith? It's hard to not see each other for weeks at a time. So far, we've done well with it, but it's been four weeks already, and if I don't pass... it could be another four weeks before we get to see each other.

A day doesn't go back that I don't wonder about the meaning of life/existence. I suppose it's because I'm at a transition point. Graduated college and unsure of the next step. I wonder why every human being who is mentally competent wonders about the meaning of life. It'd be nice if our brains just took for granted that our selves and our lives were meaningful. Or would it? Maybe not...


I've been reading political blogs in my spare time because I think it's about time I let myself in on what's going on politically. Even though they are interesting, especially the argumentative comments... I'm not finding the information I really want to know. I don't like how the two sides are so pitted against each other. Liberal dems versus conservative reps. I'm sure that deep down, we want the same things. Take abortion. On the surface, conservatives say that pro-choice democrats are arrogant, thinking they have the right to take an innocent life. The liberals retaliate by saying the conservatives are too close-minded, using one measuring standard for the whole of the human population. But really, both groups just want an overlooked life to be valued and empowered. It's not like democrats are cold hearted... they feel warm (and maybe a little awkward) when they see a baby smiling at them.


It bothers me that most of the public figures I see who "preach" pro-life are well off and have the means to support their decision. For example, Palin with her teenage daughter. Yes, she kept a baby with Down's syndrome, and yes, she still lovingly accepts her pregnant daughter. But she has a high-respect job as governer and now vice presidential candidate. She is wealthy. Her husband is educated like her. She can afford to not use abortion. She has the mental health and stability that growing up with money provides. What about those with unstable families - unstable monetarily, emotionally, psychologically, relationally...etc?
All I know is it seems a little mad to spin around 3 times with your eyes closed, pick one stressed out female with an unplanned pregnancy, who maybe has an abusive father or drunken mother, and tell her that she is not allowed to get an abortion.

I wish people weren't so quick to demonize the other side.

I'm quick to smugly think to my 'enlightened' self that conservatives are so close minded. But it wasn't that long ago that I was a conservative, and if I try, I can still remember why I felt that way. I was thinking of an innocent baby. Thinking of all the potential it could have, and thinking that pro-abortion people didn't understand the intrinsic value of human life.

I'm sure there are plenty of liberals who are arrogant, academic, snobs.
I'm sure there are plenty of conservatives who are sincere, honest folks.
and vice versa.